It is 6:09am in the morning. I woke up at 4:41am to use the bathroom. Getting up was not that easy since I am on crutches…again! I move slowly because I am still fresh off the surgery and I have a cast on. I grab my crutches, I find my balance, and I begin the propelling arm movement and then the hop. I am automatically irritated and bothered. I hate the sound of crutches. It is my 3rd surgery, my 6th time on crutches, and I have spent four out of the last six months on crutches. Why is that? That is a story for another time.
I use the bathroom and return to my room. It is not that simple to do that either, but who really cares about that, but myself? I am in my room. From the moment I got up to use the bathroom, I knew I would not be able to go back to sleep. My mind is racing, my chest is tight and hurting, and I am overwhelmed. When am I going to make it? What am I doing wrong or what does something have to go wrong every single time?
I am an ardent, hardworking, and kind individual with good intentions. I want to be great, but I also love to see and help others be great, which is why I blog and run 5 Instagram and Facebook pages. Every day of my life, I attempt to inspire and motivate. It hurts me deeply that nothing is falling in place. I do not understand and maybe I am not supposed to understand it…yet!
Do not get me wrong, I understand that chasing your dreams and attempting to follow your true passion is the hard way to success and happiness. I am completely aware that I am doing this the hard way. I am not the type to settle for an ordinary life. I am not the type to settle in any aspect actually. I am made for greatness. I see greatness in me. I am already great and I am so anxious to manifest it.
I am my toughest judge, but I am also my number one fan and source of motivation. I inspire myself. I motivate myself. I lead myself and I believe in myself. The only problem right now is that I am losing myself. The last two years have been nothing but tough. I feel as though I have been tested continuously, repeatedly and in an ongoing matter. I still believe. I am still trying. I am still being knocked down.
At this point, I do not question that I am one of God’s toughest soldiers. I know the Universe wants me here for something. I know I am supposed to be here. I know I am here for a reason. I am just seriously going through it. I know it will not end, I strive for greatness and better every time. I raise the bar every chance I get. I just want something to work. I just need a sign to keep going. I want my brand to pop. I want the world to see the intellectual value my brand brings to the “table”, a closet, a mind.
I just need a sign to keep going; a sign to refuel my faith, hope, and courage to keep pursuing. I guess my sign is right in front of me. I am here. I am writing another blog post. I am breathing, I am thinking, I am creating, I am developing, and I am pursuing what I love.
I am blessed to see another day.
I do not know what worries wake you out of your sleep or even stop you from sleeping. I am not sure which project you have been working on for years or which dream you have dedicated yourself to. I do not know how you deal with disappointment, failure, and negative or no feedback. What I do know is that both you and I are blessed, right at this moment. We are blessed to take another breath. We are blessed to see another day. We are blessed to get the opportunity to try again.
We are blessed to be given the chance to take another shot at it even if we don’t score. Some people will not wake up today. Some people will wake up and give up on their hopes and never try again. Some people will wake up and continue to live a life that has them dead on the inside.
But you, you and I, we are right here - looking for signs to keep going.
It is 7:04 am now. I am listening to Burna Boy’s African Giant album. It is amazing! I am ready to go back to bed for a little while knowing I took another shot at motivating and inspiring.
We often forget how blessed we are in all senses, having our senses functioning fully and flawlessly. It is a blessing. Let us try and find the blessings in the little things because eventually they add up and make a big difference.
If you are looking for a sign today, this is it. You are blessed to see another day. So, keep trying!.
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