There are three types of pain. The first type goes hand in hand with growth, progress, and improvement. The second type consists of pain that results from one bad or poor decisions. The third type, which I consider the worst type, is the pain that results from nothing. Nothing you did, said or thought about causes it. It just occurs and just like that you have to suffer, hurt, and accept it.
This type of pain occurs when something you love and/or means the world to you is gone. Something valuable to you is taken away from you. This ‘thing’ can be a person, time, materials, memories, your hard work, your freedom, your child hood, your purity, and the list goes on. Whether it is permanent or temporary, whether it makes sense or it is just ‘part of life’, it hurts, and it’s capable of breaking you down, and destroying you…if you let it.
This is the type of pain you feel when you lose someone you love. This is the type of pain you feel when you give your all into a person and get nothing in return. This is the type of pain you feel when you watch all your hard work of years crumble down into pieces. This is the type of pain you feel when you work so hard, but no one sees it, supports it or appreciates it. This is the type of pain you feel when you grow old and gray and you realize that you lived your life based on what others thought of you.
This is the type of pain you feel, when you are at the peak of your sports career and you undergo a major surgery. This is the type of pain you feel when the first man that touched you, wasn’t a partner of yours, but someone who took advantage of your young age. This is the type of pain you feel when you have never met your father or your mother. This is the type of pain you feel when a parent of yours chooses not to be a parent. This is the type of pain you feel when you had to be an adult before you were done being a child.
This is the type of pain that makes you realize that you have been living your life the wrong way. This is the type of pain that makes you realize that you had taken people, circumstances, and your life for granted. This is the type of pain that makes you realize that chasing money just can’t be your ultimate goal. This is the type of pain that makes you realize that your life has a beginning and an end. This is the type of pain that makes you realize that the purpose of life is to live, make memories, and enjoy people’s company while they are here. Enjoy your hard work, while you still have it going for you and you can. People die every day, people get sick every day. You can have it all today and lose it all tomorrow. You can have nothing today and have it all tomorrow. You still have to live while you are figuring it all out.
This is the type of pain I am feeling right now. This is the type of pain I am having a hard time to cope with. This is the type of pain that has me feeling lost, confused, and without a purpose. Have I realized everything I said above? Yes! However, I wish I didn’t have to through this type of pain to realize that I had to live life and cherish every moment. Can I change the way I am learning and the actions of my past? No. However, I can help others understand this a little earlier than I did, before multiple break downs and confusion.
No matter what the case is for you. No matter what category your pain falls into, make sure you give yourself the time to work on your mental health and creating your very own definition of happiness. By doing so, you will know how to enjoy every moment you are blessed with and be happy with what you have while you are still in the process of reaching your goals. Don’t attach conditions to your happiness. Don’t say if I had a partner I would be happy or feel complete. Find yourself, love yourself, be happy with yourself and then invite someone to make you even happier. Don’t say if I had money, I would be happy because there are people that get the money they always wanted and pass away without even getting the chance to enjoy their hard work.
Don’t wait till someone passes away, don’t wait till you lose yourself or experience a devastating life event…live now!
Live now because 'now' is really all you got!
Special thanks to Ben Magnani for the wonderful collaboration and photoshoot! Please take the time to check his beautiful style and talent (click on his name to view his artwork)!