Stop blaming other people for things YOU allow them to do to you.
If you are a student-athlete, this is for you.
If you are mad at your ex for how their treating you when you decided to take her or him back…this is for you.
If you are currently in the career path your parents wanted you to be in, but you hate it…this is for you.
If you are an adult and still blame your parents for the negative or disliked traits in your behavior…this is for you.
Every day, I try to remind myself and others that the most powerful obstacle that exists is our own mind. How old or how young you are does not matter; this is why we see successful entrepreneurs, dancers, artists or singers(and more) that appear at the age of 40,30, 12, 20 or even 7. You are what your mind believes. You can deceive every single person you meet and have people think that you are this really confident person. However, you can never cheat your own mind and how you really feel about yourself and situations around you ends up revealing itself as time goes by.
Why do you care?
A lot of times, we tend to transfer the blame of what we do to ourselves to others. We blame our college coach for not letting us shoot. We blame our parents for still being timid at the age of 45. We blame our parents or society for not pursuing our dream career. We blame our ex-partners for not treating us right. We blame the circumstances we were born into for not being exposed to opportunities or for not knowing how to love others and blah blah blah.
We literally just waste time blaming others and situations, instead of using that time to do what we want to do. We waste time being upset and mad at the world, when all we need to is decide to make a change. We invest time in searching for reasons why others are wrong instead of realizing that certain people can only do us wrong, if we allow them.
Your ex-partner showed you the first time that you are not compatible, but you gave her or him another chance and opportunity to show you what you already knew. Don’t get me wrong, your ex partner could deserve another chance and may turn out to be great. However, if she or he is doing the same things she or he did at first, don’t blame them. You took them back. Face reality, don’t complain or feel sorry about yourself, make the decision, and let it go peacefully.
Your coaches may have restricted you from utilizing or attempting certain moves, but did they stop you from working on them? Did they hold your hands or legs during the game? Can they really stop you? Are you on a new team complaining about how you are not as skillful because your old coach had limited you? Who’s stopping who?
Did your parents force you to stay in your shell until the age of 50? Do you depend on your parents to make decisions for you at the age of 25 or 35 or 40? No, but somehow you still blame them.
You want to know the real problem is? The real issue is your mind. The real problem is your confidence. The real problem is your work ethic. How hard are you willing to work to prove to yourself and not others that you are capable?
How much dedication, faith, and time will you invest in yourself? Are you willing to work on your weaknesses? Either is speaking, reading, interacting with others or loving yourself, are you putting enough time into you?
Have you worked on being the best version of yourself to realize that your ex-partner does not deserve you, if she or he is not the best version of herself or himself as well?
Before you blame the circumstances of the past, the present or the future, before you accuse people for not being happy or accepting who you are, ask yourself: “Do I love myself enough? Do I believe in myself? Do people’s opinions really stop me from doing what I want to do or do I stop myself from doing what I love due to their opinions?”
Stop trying to find whose fault it is. Focus on finding solutions. Focus on being the best version of you and being you. “Find Urself” and never lose sight of you again!